So, I told you, my dear readers, I would get into the specifics of my dietary changes and I don’t think I have yet. SO here it is: Any processed food is off the table. By processed foods, I mean anything that is packaged, period. I can still have a few condiments like mustard, vinegar, mayo but that’s about it. No dairy, wheat, gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, fruit or starchy vegetables (potatoes, yams, peas, corn, etc.). No grains either, no brown rice, quiona or oats. Essentially I can eat lean protein and vegetables and healthy fats. I am now about half-way through week three. It has gotten easier, much easier. I have tried to change my ideas about this plan. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and how I can’t eat what everyone else eats; I have tried to think about it like a challenge. I have been following the recipes in the cookbook and also adapting them to fit my own tastes. If you missed the first blog, I am following a program laid out in The Blood Sugar Solution.
Admittedly this is pretty extreme but I had tried everything else to no avail. I HAVE seen results in the almost three weeks I have been doing this, I have lost almost 7 pounds. I have had fewer headaches, my skin has cleared up, I have not had any horrible food cravings and I had almost no PMS symptoms this month. AF totally surprised me because I didn’t have my usual week-long headache, mood swings or bloating. I don’t have mood swings during the day anymore, if I don’t get a chance to eat, I do get hungry but I don’t turn into a total bitch like I used to. It’s been an interesting journey so far. These changes will become slightly less strict at the end of the first six weeks. I will be able to add in fruit, whole grains and a few other things but mostly these changes are supposed to be my new “normal”.
Here is where the honesty gets more difficult. I cheated last night and today… Last night I had two corn tortillas with my dinner and tonight I had 12 tortilla chips and a few pieces of “pub mix”. I know most people wouldn’t necessarily view this as a cheat but it is. The tortillas were delicious and totally worth it. The chips, which are one of my most favorite things, honestly were MEH. The pub mix tasted gross. The reason this is so hard is because I am being forced to change almost everything I have believed about food, happiness and my relationship with food. These are not easy changes, in fact they have sort of rocked me to the core.
I have been overweight but “healthy” most of my life. By healthy, I mean i grew up eating brown rice and steamed veggies, shredded wheat and things like that. I was eating quinoa before it was cool or mainstream. My husband and I make almost everything from scratch and we eat fairly well. I always knew my portions were too big and just figured that was why I was overweight. I LOVE food, I find comfort and joy in food. I knew this was bad but until I embarked on this journey, I didn’t realized how addicted to food I was and how hopeless I would feel without the foods I loved. The surprising thing today was that I didn’t seem to love them quite as much. In fact I got half way through my 12 tortilla chips (and yes I counted them) and forgot I was even eating them. Weird!
I have had friends comment on how maybe I should have given up things slowly, it would have been easier. I disagree, it’s too easy to slide back into old habits. In taking everything off the table all at once it forced me to think completely differently about food which has been a really good and empowering thing.
The one thing that has kept me on track is the hope that bringing my body back into balance and losing weight will eventually help us get pregnant, it can’t hurt, right? After reading other’s posts, this makes me feel naive but I still can’t lose hope. I know its possible for me to become pregnant. I’ve been pregnant before but that topic is for another day.
SO here I am, on my first day of clomid, still hoping that my body will wake up and participate in my biggest dream. I’ll stay tuned, maybe you will too…